Hey! This will be a short post since I'm getting ready for school but I wanted you to see the picture of the "gothic" wedding we did. This was so sterotypical goth though. We WON though! If I can get pictures of the other groups I will put them up! Also I did take a small video of it but I'm going to put it in my first vlog! So here are the photos from it!
If you didn't know which one I was, I was the one on the right! Well, I'm going to end this and finish packing for Greenville! I will have tons of photos!
I've been so tired lately for some reason. Maybe it's because I'm super stressed out from all the stuff that has been going on this week. At school they decided to change all of the rules yet again. Ugh! Now I feel like I'm in some tight private school. This sucks!
Tomorrow we are doing this photoshoot at school so I've decided to make a vlog about it. It's going to be interesting. Also I will probably do a vlog on Saturday or maybe just my whole time I'm in Greenville. I will bring my laptop this time when I go so I will be able to post! I really am super excited.
So I've decided that I really need to turn my life around and the first thing I'm going to do is work on my wardrobe. I don't feel pretty and girly so I guess that's probably where I need to start. I want to be able to look in the mirror and be happy at what I see and my outward appearence is something that always bothered me. Not to mention I've lost a tooooooon of weight. I was 150lbs and now I'm 124lbs! I'm happy AND I've lost the six pounds from 130lbs to 124lbs by eating healthy instead of fasting like I use to! In fact today is day fourteen of my recovery! I'm so happy!
So I've decided I want to change my life around because right now I'm feeling really down about myself. I've been feeling really ugly and just worn out all the time and it's not fun. I feel like I'm being bombarded by so many things right now that's it's so hard to maintain the life of a normal girl. I feel disgusting and all I want to do is sleep but that's no fun. My problem is my appearance because I feel like life is so boring what's the point of looking "pretty". Unfortunately because I'm apathetic it just makes the huge loop of poop.
I guess what I can do is start pampering myself again, buying nice clothes, and getting more tattoos. I don't know why but when ever I get a tattoo It makes me feel better about myself! I guess because I find body mods beautiful.
I would like to talk about Dole's Fruit Smoothie Shakers next. The other day I went to Wal*Mart and saw these drinks. At first I was kind of weary of it but it was at a cheap price so I said what the heck let's try it. The package said to add orange juice but I'm not the biggest fan of orange juice so I mixed it with another type of juice; by the way I go the Strawberry Banana one. I must say that I really loved the taste and it gives you a small thing on the back that will show you how much juice you've put in and what you need to make it extra thick or just thick which I loved. I say if you look fruit smoothies you should try one of these out because it was delicious.
This weekend I'm going back home to Greenville and I cannot wait! I miss organization, shopping, being outside, and more! Plus I will be able to put up my fairy lights in my room this time. There will be a ton of pictures. I'm so excited that it makes me all scatter brained!
Tomorrow I'm going to try to give blood though I'm not sure if they will take mine because I have recent piercings and tattoos but we will see. I haven't given blood since my sophomore year of high school. It was pretty intense because some of my friends threw up but I finished it quickly and was perfectly fine afterwards. I'm actually pretty excited for it.
Gosh, there is so many things I've been wanting to buy because at the end of July I'm going to St. Augustine again~ I love it there so much! It has so much history, the water is amazing, it has many sight seeing places, and ghost stories! You best know that I will be taking a million photos.
I think I've figured out something new about myself today. My view of things are completely different from just any girl my age. I'm in my own dream world where in the end love will always prevail through the toughest of situations. I think anime, manga, and Mr. John Keats has corrupted my mind.
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections, and the truth of imagination."
-John Keats
"If only those words could be a magic spell that would make my heart more beautiful every time you said it, then I would become much kinder."
-Arina Tanemura
"Living things are restrained by Chains: The laws of nature, the flow of time, the vessel known as your “body”, and the existence called your mind. The one chain that people can wield: WORDS.” -Yuuko Ichihara
"Sometimes, even when the heart forgets, the body still remembers"
-Yuuko Ichihara
I become putty when I think on all the wonderful things that I've read and seen. I probably seem silly though for thinking and talking about this. I always end up feeling like my emotions and thoughts are a waste of time and I should be just a shell of a human form. I imagine how beautiful the world could be but when I actually open my eyes I feel like everything is so corrupted. Gosh, now I'm getting all down just thinking about it all.
Have anyone seen all of Galaxy Angel? I watched a few episodes when I was younger but didn't get to far because I had dial-up then but I think it would be a good anime to start watching again sometime very soon.
Not to mention how cute it is!! I also really want to re-read and watch Magic Knight Rayearth. It was the first manga I've ever read.
Well, I'm going to end this post because I'm super sleepy. I'll actually have something to talk about when I wake up!
So yesterday was one crazy day for me. School was boring as always and just a mess. I'm getting tired of it. I'm also hating my apartment. I feel like it's so gross to live in. Back home I had all the things I needed to clean so everything was up to par.
Last night I went to a club with a few friends and it was so fun. I remember last year when I use to go to the club every Friday and Saturday and dance. I love dancing so much. It makes me feel good about myself. The performers were amazing too! The best performers I've seen to date besides Amber.
I bought an eyeball purse yesterday too. It's from Kreepsville 666. It's an adequate size too! I think the red version of it is adorable compared to the green one. I do like the iris color on the green one though. Now I feel like I'm rambling because I'm so tired but here is pictures of both bags.
I'm currently craving pancakes but when am I not? I just want to watch a ton of movies and eat pancakes. You know instead of popcorn, pancakes. Now I miss my mom's cooking. I use to love all the stuff she would make and I also miss papa's steak. I think I am in need of a good cooked meal. I'm getting so hungry just by thinking about it! Oh! By the way, today is my tenth day of recovery. It's been tough but I feel that it's worth it.
Well I guess I'm going to curl up on my couch and watch horror movies all day. Now that is a relaxing day. Haha. Hopefully next time I blog I won't be so tired and start rambling.
So on Monday I finished Sailor Moon Stars season. I have mixed feelings about it though because I loved it so much! The good thing about this though is that I'm reading the manga so I will get to read about it in more detail than what the anime let on. Also I loved the music too. Seiya can actually sing in my opinion.
I've been having a rough week. I'm wanting to get my life straight but I've become apathetic when it comes to school. I'm going to try and cheer up but it feels impossible right now. Hopefully when I go back to Greenville next weekend I will be in a better mood when I come back. This whole being living all by myself with no one to really talk to after school is really getting to me. I feel isolated.
This morning I did try banana bread oatmeal! It was actually really good. I'm curious how it will taste milk instead of water. I've been doing really good on eating healthy things. At least that makes me happy. Lately I've been getting back into Witch House again. I'm finding more and more bands and it makes me all excited. I don't know anyone in real life that listens to Witch House. It might be too creepy for some people. Well I'm going to end this and take a quick nap before school!
I am hoping to get through the Stars season today or tomorrow. I have to say that after seeing this season this has become my favourite season. From the bad guys to the cuteness of Chibi Chibi and the relationship between Seiya and Usagi.
Haha, I promise you that I will stop talking about Sailor Moon sooner or later. It's just something that I have been watching heavily so that's why I've been talking about it so much lately. This is the longest series that I have even attempted to watch all of. I guess its because Sailor Moon is so dimensional to me. With every episode I can see Usagi and the others grow plus it's easy for me to relate to it unlike other lengthy animes I've tried to watch.
Besides all of the Sailor Moon stuff I have going on today I have to go Wal*Mart so I can buy more koolaid. Haha. Plus maybe other things besides apples, peanut butter, and salad. I'm having a craving for something warm but healthy. Gosh school has messed me up. Today is a Sunday but I thought it was Saturday for a bit. You see I go to school Tuesday through Saturday so I get all mixed up. Talking about school reminds me of how poorly I was treated yesterday there. I got a guest but I didn't have a chemical cape because I can't wash it properly at the on-site laundry facility. So me being confused on what to do I asked a teacher to help me out she ignored me and walked away. I then asked another teacher and she ignored me and kept walking. Finally I was just pissed off because I needed help and no one would help me. I talked to another teacher and her solution was to borrow one from a friend but the problem was all of my friends had clients and the other students that didn't have clients I didn't know well at all. I hate asking people if I can borrow something if I'm not that fimilar to them because of my anxeity and the the first teacher told me to just go buy a new one. It made me so upset to hear that.
Well, I'm ending this post now so I can get food and drink from Wal*Mart.
I want to warn you that this post can be triggering depending on your situation.
No one really knows this but I do have an eating disorder and it started when I was in middle school. So I have been dealing with this issue for a very long time. I'm categorized as EDNOS which means "Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified". I have this title for a few reasons. The first one is that I'm not underweight and the second reason is because I have all three eating disorders: Binge, Bulimia, and Anorexia. I have an eating disorder because it's a control issue. I feel like my life is so unstable that I need something that I can control; this is the same reason I self harmed. I have been working hard on my self harming and that is going good but as for my eating disorder it got worse when I let go of self harming because I didn't feel like I had any alternative to feel stable. Two nights ago I went to use the bathroom and saw blood in the toilet bowl but it wasn't from my menstrual cycle. I'm not going into detail about it but I was lacking fiber in my system and low on nutrients. It hurt so badly and I lost a good bit of blood. I decided that I couldn't keep living like I am and that I need to recover from this. So here I am on my third day of recovery. I'm having issues still with the way I see my body but I've been eating small meals that are nutritious for me. Hopefully I will be able to fight this and come out on top.
I would like to say if ANYONE you know are you have an eating disorder, please come talk to me because you're not alone and you don't have to go through it alone. Also there is a bracelet that has "Never give up, be freED" on it. You can purchase this for two dollars at http://alleyoops.tumblr.com/
Here is picture of it that I grabbed off of tumblr because mine is at my parents house waiting for me to come back so I can open the package!
"I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another, human beings are like that. We all want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful."
-Charlie Chaplin; The Great Dictator
Now that is said and done I will probably make another post that isn't so depressing later.
Have an amazing day!
Today I am suppose to be washing my clothes for school right now but I've been feeling really sick so I went Arby's to get a sandwich and I'm starting to feel better. So I'm still watching Sailor Moon Stars but I'm hoping to finish this season by the end of this week so I can start watching all the other animes on my list.
Why can't Usagi be with Seiya. I haven't seen much of the Stars series yet but when I compare her/him to Mamoru I think Seiya is sort of dreamy. Haha. They both have their good qualities like Mamoru is more mature but Seiya is more in your face. I guess what I mean is Seiya is more dimensional while Mamoru doesn't have a lot too him except saying witty things and throwing around roses while almost every bad guy wants to make him their pet. I even think that Mamoru's subconscious the Moonlight Knight, had more dimension. Though I do find myself liking Mamoru in the manga. I'm not sure what it is but the manga makes him more appealing than in the anime.
Though I did like him in the first few seasons but that's probably because he wasn't as mature as he is now. He fits Usagi better that way but hey, they are growing up so I guess it makes since. Oh and who can forget those sunglasses.
When I was younger I only liked Sailor Moon but now that I'm watching all of the seasons I've found that I really like Sailor Pluto, Sailor Mars, and Sailor Venus. Recently I've bought a new lip gloss and it's one of Etude House's Moon Crystal Power glosses. The names of the glosses are wonderful too.
You have Soul Aqua Pink, Ruby Moon Crystal, Coral Prism Power, Purple Holy Beam, Andro Pinky Way. I'm wanting to buy all of them but for now I only have the Soul Aqua Pink coming in the mail so far. Once it gets to me I will be doing a review for it.
Well, I'm going to actually get up off of the couch and do laundry I'm not looking forward to being in the laundry room with other odd people. It scares me sometimes.
So today has been very uneventful except I am on the last season of Sailor Moon. I have mixed emotions about it though because I never want Sailor Moon to end. I loved Sailor Moon since I was three years old and I've been in love with it ever since. I've also been getting the re-released Sailor Moon mangas. I'm so stoked for volume five to come out the eighth of this month.
I seriously can not wait. I'm so happy they decided to re-release them because I didn't get the read the mangas when they were first released because I was really young AND if I heard correctly in the first release the English translation didn't have Haruka and Michiru as lovers. I'm guessing it's for the same reason that they had them as 'cousions' in the English dubbed. I'm also happy that they also released Code Name Sailor V because I finally got to see what Sailor Venus was like before she was united with the other scouts. I've been thinking about giving the Sailor Moon live action show a try but I'm not sure how well I'd like it. It kind of reminds me of some old school Power Rangers.
I wish Naoko Takeuchi would have continued the series so we could see Chibiusa and the Amazon Quartet. They were my favourite bad guys from Sailor Moon to Sailor Moon SuperS. I say that because I haven't seen the Stars season. I also liked Fisheye but I hate how the dubbed version used a girl's voice instead of a really feminine boy's voice because the episode when you find out he has a chest instead of breasts is just so confusing. Oh! I was looking around on the Internet and I found a picture of four girls cosplaying as the Amazon Quartet! It's so amazing.
By the way, I'm in love with CereCere the master of flowers, if you didn't notice yet. She seems so lovely to me and I love her outfit and her hair. Well I guess I'm done talking about Sailor Moon for now.
Last night for Cinco de Mayo I went to a sports bar with some of my older friends. It made me feel so awkward because I was the only nineteen year old that they allowed to come in since I was their desginated drive. Never have I ever been so bored at a bar or a club. It was filled with women that were in their late forties and couldn't dance. Not to mention I was the tiny pink and purple hair girl that was bobbing around who got asked by the manager what I was drinking and I said "Shirley Temple" and he said "Looks like it" and then complimented me on my hat. He thought he was being sneaky coming up to me like that. It was some serious poo.
I've been thinking about changing my look around some. I'm not sure how yet but I really want to play around with different styles. Well before I drag this out for too long I'm going to end this and watch more Robot Chicken. I might just get pancakes tomorrow too. Bye!
I'm not looking forward to being in the laundry room with other odd people. It scares me sometimes. 
